Onboard a downward spiral, trapped by a reluctant pull, emphasized by all-consuming shame, sexual addiction is in control. There is a deception and lie that slowly entangles us. We believe we are in control, but the reality is we are no longer in control; sexual addiction is now the master. We are obedient to the lie; the lie of fulfillment and satisfaction.

As your mind burns with lust and fantasy, there is no escape from the unavoidable ritual. This ritual leaves us with a moment of ecstasy, a life of shame, and a desire to intensify the next encounter. Even in the promise that we will not do it again we are inevitably trapped into the mission of creating an even more intense experience the next time. By heightening the intensity we believe we will find fulfillment and satisfaction. The reality is we will not.

Fantasy and expectation naturally progresses to a higher level of unrestrained adventure. The addiction requires that we increase the danger and excitement in order to increase the intensity. We feel we are in control, that we are orchestrating the event, but where does the control come in? When do you exhibit control over this affliction? The adventure, the acting out, the addiction, the sin is in total control and masters your fantasies, your thoughts, your actions.

The trap is so comprehensive there is little chance of escape. As much as it seems like all is lost and you are on a path designated by God, you are not. First you must realize that God did not choose this path for us. We created the trap and we snared ourselves. Through years of sexual impurity and acting out, we created this spiral of hell and shame.

There is hope. There is only one who can take the shame away, and that is the Lord. I feel there are some definitive steps that can be taken to break free from the bonds of sexual addiction

• First you must realize you got yourself into this and it is only through the Lord that you will get out. You can not find victory on your own, by yourself.

• You need to confess the sin to others. This is the single most difficult step you will ever take, but the only way to break free. I assure you, if you do not take this step then at some point your secret will be found and the consequences will be so much higher. It will be a pain and emotional ache like you have never felt before.

1. Confess it to someone, anyone, even if it is a comment left on this blog.
2. Confess it to an individual of authority at a safe church. If you do not feel safe confessing at your church then find one that is safe.
3. Confess it to your closest family.

• Find a purity group and an accountability partner immediately.

• Start reading books on the issue of sexual addiction and sexual purity.

• Start a daily journal on your struggle. Don’t just write about facts, but dig deep into the emotional impact of events and situations. You will have to get in touch with your feelings and emotions to have lasting victory. Journaling will help you gain that grasp.

• You may need professional counseling from a Christian based expert in this area.

Each of these points can be expounded on more, and hopefully I will go into more detail for each in future posts. I urge you take the step to confess your struggle. This will not be an easy battle, and it will certainly not be pretty, but the alternative is so much worse. You will always be a slave to this hell without fighting against it.