Recently I have come across a few blogs with information related to the causes of cheating. In these instances the author listed a range of what I would call excuses, not causes. These excuses range from a lack of self control, pressures of work, boredom, to sexually explicit material all around, some even go as far as to blame the spouse, such as Christian women change. I do agree that these can be triggers (see this post for more info on triggers) for sexually acting out, but it is very unlikely any would be the root cause.

The reason these would be listed as triggers is that any of the events could certainly help direct the individual to a state of acting out sexually. This occurs so often and individuals take very little time to analyze the deeper issues that one of these actions could be pointed to as the cause. On the surface it seems reasonable, albeit very superficial, but still reasonable.

The superficial nature of the trigger is precisely what makes it only that of an excuse. The individual must make a much deeper examination of their emotions and feelings to get to the true root cause. In Pure Desire by Ted Roberts it is revealed that root causes stem from trauma, dysfunctional family life, and or an addictive society. It is typically not enough that an addictive society would trigger a mindset of sexually acting out, but combined with family dysfunction or trauma it certainly plays a role.

In the case of trauma, it is often times something from early childhood or adulthood that is causing the behavior. This is usually not even apparent to the individual since they have spent years suppressing the event and building up habits to avoid the pain. Family dysfunction works in the same manner. The pain gives way to unhealthy coping mechanisms, which lead to habits that grow into addictive behaviors. These addictive behaviors can take on a number of forms, sexual acting out being one of the most common.

Until one looks deeply at past hurts, trauma, and painful events it is difficult to identify the root cause of the sexual behavior. It is much easier to identify the trigger as a source and move on from there. The devastating risk is that the true cause will go unidentified and the destructive behavior will continue.